“What is something you have struggled with in life?”

“Learning how to trust. Ever since I could remember, my dad was out of the house. People would tell me how close we were when I was younger. When he was still around, we were always together. When he left, I wasn’t told exactly why. All I knew was that he got a job out of state. As I got older, I started to learn and realize that it was much more than that. It was hard on my mom. I mean when you marry someone you think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with them. There have been challenges in our household. My parents don’t always get along. But, my mom is happy now. It’s not something that stands out to me as super different because it is all I’ve ever known.  I can’t remember the times that my dad was home. I can remember him coming back to visit, but I can’t remember him ever living with us because I was too little. Him being gone made me realize how amazing my mom is, how hard she works,  and how much she cares about us.”

“Does the absence of your father affect your relationships?”

“I let guys control me and throw me around. I always tried to make them happy, not caring about how I felt. There was a guy that forced me to do things that I never wanted to do, farther than I ever wanted to go. Luckily, I got away before I was in a situation I couldn’t get out of. But, I still didn’t learn my lesson. The next one came along and I let him throw me around just like the previous one. Like it was normal. I thought love was physical. I didn’t realize how deep it actually could be. I thought love was two people coming together that made each other happy. In my relationships I was never physically attracted to anyone I saw. They were always attracted to me. But, it didn’t matter because someone cared about me. That is what I wanted.”

“Why did you want that?”

“I felt like nobody did. I was just lonely. I didn’t have anyone to talk to.”

“Has that changed?”

“Last year, I met someone in one of my classes. He was wearing grey shoes, blue jeans, and a maroon sweatshirt. And—I don’t know–something was just different. I thought he wasn’t going to leave, but…he did. I was sad. But, he came back. Now, I understand what love really is.”

“What is love?”

“I feel like I’ve always cared about everyone else, but no one cared for me. Now, I care for someone and they care for me. Before, I cared about making everyone else happy, and now I am realizing I can be happy while making someone else happy. I have someone who lifts me up, not knocks me down. Love is indescribable when both sides know who they are and who they’re with.”

“If there were pieces of advice that you could give to other women—older, younger, or even your age—what would you tell them?”

• Never let anyone tell you how to make it better. Coming from someone who has partied, turned to drugs and alcohol, and everything bad you can think of, nothing makes it better.
• If you let the fact that your parents aren’t together hold you back, you’ll miss opportunities and chances that you could take. Don’t let it hold you back no matter how hard it is.
• You’re never trapped. The only thing keeping you trapped is yourself. You have to be the one who takes the step up or you’ll never get up.
• After I got myself out and lifted myself up, someone came by my side and lifted me up even more. Find something or someone that brings you hope and joy and comfort and safety and love.
• You can’t be happy with someone else and be loved by someone else until you’re happy with yourself and love yourself.
• Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough because you are good enough for God