“How did you guys meet?”
Him: “Some of my friends knew her from school. It was one of those deals where she had invited everyone over. Well–we went to Big Boys. And then she invited everyone over and I tagged along.”
Her: “He invited himself.”
Him: “I did. I was hanging with everyone and I said, ‘why not?’ So, that is kind of the short version. That was the first chance we had to meet and talk. I remember real clearly–and I think I was trying to impress her, which probably didn’t work–but, anyways, I ended up tagging along and that is how I met her. After that, nothing happened for a long time because she was with someone else. Every now and then I would run into her.”
Her: “Actually, it was a bad relationship. I had low self-esteem at that time. I didn’t have a good boyfriend. I wanted to get out of it but I didn’t know how. Every once in a while, this guy would show up and he would show me what a relationship should look like versus what I had. So, the story on how we actually ended up getting together was I had enough with my boyfriend and I broke up with him. He, on the other hand, indicated that if there was ever a time that I was free to let him know. I didn’t even know his name at the time.”
Him: “See. Did I leave a good impression or not?” So good of an impression I left that she didn’t even know my name.”
Her: “Well, my sister knew him. So, I called her up and said, ‘there’s this guy. He’s really tall and good-looking. I just need to call and talk to him. Do you know his number and name?’ She knew who I was talking about and gave me his number. I get all this courage–because in my generation, you didn’t call boys–and I called him. He then answered. I told him who I was and asked if he wanted to get together. Then, there was this dead silence, waiting for his response. He said yes and I’ll be right there. And he never left.”
Him: “And the rest is history.”
Her: “We’ve been married for 39 years, going on 40. There have definitely been ups and downs through it all.”
“What are some of those ups and downs?”
Her: “There were times early on where our personalities were clashing.”
Him: “What you had is two really independent people because of situations and growing up. And I mean independent people. My problem was always just wanting to do my agenda. I’m going to do this and do that. I’m going to buy this and buy that. I’m not going to consult anybody because I don’t have to. So, that is a mistake because, basically, it is a blending of agendas. It’s not you versus me or her versus me. You need to learn to blend agendas. It is the two of you against the world. That is one of the most important things to learn. At some point, there has to be a dedication to working that out.”
Her: “And at this point we have learned to uphold each other. I mean, when he has a dream, I support him and when I want to do something, he supports me. And grow together, not apart. Who we were when we got married isn’t who we are now.We’ve learned that we are one unit. We may mess with each other, but, at the end of the day, I know he’s the one who will always have my back, as I will always have his.”